Hate Your Job? Thrive or Escape

"I can NOT believe I'm in this situation!" Judith's professional career so far had been "accomplished" by any standard, but now here she was, both crying and raging in exasperation. Just recently she'd taken a new position as a middle school Special Ed teacher. She thought it would be wonderful, but it had turned out to be awful.

Her school was a disaster. The leadership was ineffective. Teachers were stressed to the max and were rude and hostile to each other, even in front of the kids. It was bad. But the worst part was that she absolutely could not walk away.

Her husband had "been there" for her when she was on her own professional fast track, so she'd happily agreed to support his upward career move to a demanding new Directorship of a large statewide agency. She needed to be there -- rock steady and earning money for at least two years -- and possibly more.

Her husband's job was great, but the salary wasn't. Their youngest daughter was in her sophomore year at a private college a thousand miles away, so the money crunch was compounded by the empty nest. Her husband was seldom home and was exhausted when he was. As she was leaving my office one day, she said "I feel like I'm on a desert island."

I was haunted by those words as I realized how many "desert islanders" I've come to know over the years: people in terrible work situations they can't leave. They're in "desert island jobs" -- jobs where they have virtually no support and no way to get off the island.

A cursory look at work statistics says that the number of people seriously unhappy at work ranges from a low of 25 percent to as high as two-thirds of those responding. These are people who simply punch a clock, or grind through the day in their cubicles.

Here are only a few of the many reasons that good people can become stuck in a bad workplace:

• It's the only opportunity to practice their trade or profession.
• It has employees or clients with whom they've always wanted to work.
• It has cachet or credibility, or "stepping stone" opportunities for future career mobility.
• The money is good.
• It's a reasonable commute or walking distance from home.
• It has health or other benefits.
• It has flexible hours or time slots that integrate into personal and/or family functioning.
• It's the only workplace hiring now, and actually offering a position.

Things begin to change when you realize that you do have options. From there, you can take some control and choose among them.

Successful escapees re-frame their "stuck" situation -- they choose to feel differently about the same circumstances. They let go of the anger, they relax about the nonsense, or they forgive the boss, and mostly they forgive themselves, for being stuck. Desert islanders need to "bloom in place" or "plant a garden" so that staying put results in good things. The short run becomes more livable, and energy increases as people sort out the control they do have for important things, and let go of the stuff they have no control over -- for now.

And yes, there's no getting around that some who are stuck on a desert island absolutely need to build a raft and get the heck off the island -- no matter how difficult -- because staying would only make things worse.

So, if you're stuck on a desert island, here's what it boils down to: make peace with the fact that there really are only two acceptable outcomes: 1) you MUST change how you feel about staying and make that work, or 2) you absolutely must leave. Make your choice, then get started doing what needs to be done to make the outcome you choose happen.

Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Hate-Your-Job?-Thrive-or-Escape&id=927693
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